For the wanna be cool cats who don’t iPhone it, there now comes the new, geekier, squeakier Google Photos. Google Photos was announced on the official Google Blog today. If this thing seems familiar, it’s because it’s the same as the last thing, following a trip to the sawbones. What was that last thing called again? Plus what now?
Lumberjack Beard’s a Bust
So what if you only ride a bike and it’s not a kiteboard. Who cares if your Hindu lumberjack beard peaked in 2012 and you just won’t let it go. You have Google Photos to onboard you in to the everyday oversharing marketplace now, it will do fine. It’s free, money is tight. If you’re not paying, they are commoditizing you, isn’t that what they said?
Yahoo and Flickr won’t like this one little bit. It may churn some few dissenters out of iPhone+ Cloud. Turns Google itself into the planet’s memory card collector. Handy for when you lose yours, amIrite?
Ownership of your photos in the Google Photos application is, of course, moot. “You won’t be getting them back, but you get to visit them anytime you like,” said the Ts&Cs – probably – never read those things. On the other end, “We have copies so, click, here’s a copy of the copies in a handy zip file. We already ran them through the rinse in the first hundredth of a second after you upped them, so, yeah.”
No Privacy Issue
Privacy is not an issue. There is none. They can and will suck all your photos out of your phone and store them online for free and do so invisibly, as a service to your good self. For your convenience, they will even opt-in you to an automagickling mandolin backing-tracked montage of your presumed favorite moments of the past year. OH HOW SEEWEET! Good times regurgitated: Google Photos launched.
— ampmob (@ampmob) May 28, 2015
Google Photos. OK, kids. We’ve studied the marketing data and we think we have your millenial persona off to a tee this time: The Phabically Hip Nerd